Monthly Archives: June 2014

I’ll give you mindfulness

When I was 17 I went off to uni. Life was harder than living at home but I was still relatively unburdened by the choices that came before me each day. And now I am older I can see why. As each day goes by, you enter your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond, the potential loss you may suffer from making a bad choice, a wrong move becomes significantly greater because you have accumulated more. When you are younger it is your perceived failures that create emotional turmoil…but when you are older it is the reality of failure that turns into emotional demise and potentially collapse of oneself.
So, what does Mindfulness have to do with this point of view? Well, I’ve turned to mindfulness and meditation to try to counter the emotional spin of daily life. As a woman in her early 40s I’m not alone…women (and men) all around the world are charging at this mindful target like there is no tomorrow. And that’s my point – we are pinning our hopes on this state of consciousness to navigate life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a peace-filled 20 minutes of my day, but does it take away the angst that comes with the bottom falling out of the real estate market, does it make the threat of breast cancer any less debilitating when you carry the BRCA2, does it take the pain of losing your best friend, your family Labrador away after 15 years together….no, it doesn’t. You see, every single day we add to our number, our age, we spider web our lives with others so invisibly that we are bound to endure sadness, grief and at times to the point of paralysis. We still knew heartache when we were younger and we weren’t accustomed to clearing our minds so we could breathe a little lighter… We just continued on the journey because life was hope-filled. Life was in front of us. It is only in middle age that we turn to mindfulness and meditation to regain control of our thoughts to assimilate hope. The pain of events is still there, so use this technique but be honest with yourself, life is what it is, a road as rocky or as smooth as it can be, depending on the cards we are dealt.

Children, capital and career

I wonder if I’ve missed something, some point, some hilarious joke that now I know about, I can heave a huge sigh and let it all go. It… What is IT? Is it the feeling of helplessness when ones teenager disengages with everyone except the people in his computer? Or is it the drain of resources that comes with owning one’s house. Or is it the dread of going into work with promise and hope only to find oneself cussing and seething at others due to their selfishness and lack of general concern for anything other than themselves. So, in a nutshell it is children, capital and career. I blame the system for perpetuating the cycle. If I had not been encouraged by my teachers to aim high, be career driven, then I would be quite happy sewing alterations, growing herbs, cooking for stalls, apparently demeaning work, then I could possibly have very little expectations and therefore a short fall from grace. Equally, if every dingle story or movie I had been subjected to had not involved Mr and Mrs Perfect and their little perfect little cherubs then I would not be so mortified when my child grunted a response to my question ‘how was your day?’ (Damn that Brady Bunch). Hmmm it’s not that the world is unimaginable… Moreover it’s that our imaginativity is NOT the world.